Saturday, March 25, 2017

#SIAFBB Spring Forward Book Attack Is Coming soon!

Hey everyone!

Look what's coming!!!

Support for Indie Authors is proud to announce our first Free & Bargain Book Event of 2017. For three days, beginning on Friday, March 31st, we will be featuring more than 100 free and 99¢ Kindle ebooks by our independent author members in a wide variety of genres. 

Some books will be available all weekend, but some will be sneaky ninjas, only showing up for one day. Me? I've got a grand total of SEVEN books in this event, SIX of which will be FREE. But... I'm not telling you which ones or on what day. You'll just have to go to our EVENT WEBSITE each day and find out. ;)

Want to make sure you don't miss this or future sales events? Sign up for our newsletter and we will send out an email on the morning of the event reminding you to stock up on your spring reading. 

The tiny ninjas compel you!

As always, thank you for supporting our Indie Authors! See you Friday!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Hangin' Out with Calvin Westbrook: Urban Fantasy Author

Today I’m continuing with my streak of conversational indie author interviews. My latest victim… ahem, guest, I mean, is LGBTQ Urban Fantasy author, Calvin Westbrook. I sat down with Calvin to discuss his books, his love of the supernatural, and finally reveal to the world exactly how it is genies are allowed to grant wishes.  

Christina McMullen: Hi, Calvin! Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Let's go ahead and get the easy stuff out of the way: tell us a little about yourself and what you do.

Calvin Westbrook: Hi Christina, It is my pleasure to talk to a fellow author. My name is Calvin Westbrook, and I mostly write supernatural urban fantasy with hints of homosexual romance.

I published my first eBook on Amazon back in 2012, after I had some brief experience with FictionPress and Smashwords. Before I decided to publish my original work, I wrote several pieces of fan fiction based on the Harry Potter series, and various other franchises such as the UK version of Being Human.

CM: Interesting! Urban Fantasy is a favorite genre of mine. I like the melding of supernatural with the everyday modern world. What's your draw to this genre?

CW: My love for this genre probably started when I started watching TV shows with superntural elements such as Charmed, Buffy and Mirror Mirror. The last of these is a little known New Zealand produced drama with a mirror that provided a link between 1995 and 1919.

I've always had a love of discovering that new species of creatures exist, or finding magical items that can change the very core of reality. So I guess putting the two into our reality is a way of compensating for the fact that the real world sometimes needs a little bit of magic.

CM: Okay, I'm going to go ahead and say I probably know this one, but what's your favorite supernatural creature?

CW: I guess it isn't exactly a secret. My answer would have to be genies. There is something very intriguing about a being that can alter the universe depending on their own desires, or those who make a wish to change their own lives. There is the slightly disadvantage of the living quaters being a little spacially challenged in some mythologies, but I like to bend those rules a little bit so they have room to breathe.
If genies do breathe that is. Not entirely sure if they would need to.
If they did exist in our world that is.
In second place, it would have to be were-shifters such as wolf shifters and lion shifters. In third place, it would be the humble vampire.

CM: Okay let's talk about the genies (I was right! I win a cookie!). You mentioned altering the universe to their whim. That's an interesting take. I always wondered if genies had the ability to just pull things out of thin air or do they have to play by the rules of science? Where do you think the wish fulfilment comes from?

CW: The way I see it, they have been given the powers of the universe that was left over from the creation of the world. There isn't really a science to it, as the amount of logic needed to decipher the chaos of a wish would probably drive even the smartest person insane.

I guess what I am saying is, I think that the magic comes both from the person making the request, and the genie who is making their dream a reality. :)

CM: So, if you had just one wish, what would it be? ;)

CW: To be able to transport myself anywhere in the world within a few seconds. There is so much beauty on our planet, and thanks to the rising costs of travel, it would be a shame to not be able to see it all.

CM: Oh! I like that answer! If I ever run across a genie, I might steal it. Though knowing my luck they would be one of those trixie types who would make me a flight attendant. :)
So your new book, genies or no genies?

CW: There are several genies involved in A Treasured Find, but only a few of them drive the plot forward. I specifically chose not to put them in the description of the book, so they would be a surprise to the reader when they turn the page. 
Hopefully a pleasant one, unless they have the image of Jonathan Freeman instead of Robin Williams.

CM: Oops! Spoilers then!
But there are plenty of other types including witches, right?

CW: Absolutely. There are witches, sorcerers and an especially hunky merman on the menu.

CM: Hunky mermen. Now there is something you don't see every day. This is intriguing! Tell us a little about what this story is about.

CW: A Treasured Find focuses on Caleb Grimaldi, a young witch who has been outcast from the magical world after his family commited a heinous crime against the magical community. He has been forced to become the fiance of a sorcerer named Michael, who is essentially a heartless man who will do anything to get his own way.

In order to make ends meet, Caleb works as a caretaker at the magical academy owned by Michael's family, and as a treasure hunter unveling magical artefacts.

Caleb is invited to attend a treasure hunt by Zarik Zenbar at his island home. The man is a world class treasure hunter, and is rumoured to hold very powerful artefacts.
Along the way, Caleb encounters one of the afforementioned genies, and things take a turn for the intense to say the least.

CM: Intense! I like intense!
And as I hear it, you have some original art of some of these characters, including hunky mermen on your website?

Calvin Westbrook
Indeed I do. Some of the characters were co-created with a friend on deviantArt named AuldMisdone, and we collaborated together to afford pictures of the characters we imagined. I think you will agree that they all are splendid pieces, especially the one with Caleb's first meeting with the genie in question.
In case you are curious, the genie's name is Varron Sevarine, and he is the prince of the Northern Kingdom. In the book world, that is the main home of the genie species as a whole.
(Christina’s Note: You can go check all that out here:

CM: So now that we've talked about the books, how about we talk about the writer? You mentioned Harry Potter fan fiction, so I can assume you've been writing for a while?

CW: For several years yes, I think since I was in primary school. I also remember drawing levels for Sonic the Hedgehog games in my spare time. None of them were especially amazing, but they definitely inspired my creative flow.

I didn't start writing fiction with gay characters until I read my first eBook with gay characters in it. That honour goes to a novella by Shelley Munro named Last Wish. As you might guess. it contained a genie. His name was Zane in case you are wondering. The story opened my eyes to a literal new world of experiences that I could not have pictured before.

CM: This is why I love ebooks and indie authors in general. There's so much creativity within the community. And we are definitely seeing a lot more gay and otherwise underrepresented characters now.

CW: Absolutely. It is great to see characters who are just like everybody else, instead of the stereotypes that have flooded the mainstream channels for several decades.

I would like to make a shout out to a fellow authors named CB Archer and Dawn Sister, who have been instrumental in giving me the courage to continue writing, as well as the motivation to produce this book which I have been working for a few years. And of course yourself Christina

CM: I've heard of that CB character. A ruffian if ever there was.

CW: Indeed he is. A slippery elf to be sure when he doesn't use protection. :)

CM: I'll have to check out Dawn Sister as well.

CW: Thank you, I'm sure she would love that.

CM: So I've noticed that you've skillfully swerved away from my intention of asking more about the author. How very author-like of you. So aside from writing, what are your interests? Go any fascinating hobbies or a secret life we should know about?

CW: My other hobbies include video games and cooking delicious food. My favourite game series include the Shin Megami Tensei franchise, particularly Persona, the Sonic the Hedgehog series and the Kingdom Hearts franchise.

CM: Oh! Games! I like games! Even if I was terrible at Sonic. So one last silly question: You're sucked into a videogame and there is no genie around to help you cheat, but you can bring a merman companion for the water levels. What game do you find yourself in and what random object are you holding that becomes your primary weapon?

CW: It would definitely have to be the Persona 4 world, and my weapon would be the Bus Stop Sign that you can fish out of the river! :) 

CM: That is definitely random!
Well Calvin, thank you so much for putting up with me.

CW: My pleasure Christina. Thank you for allowing me to chat to you. 

CM: Calvin’s latest book, A Treasured Find, is now available on Amazon. You can also find Calvin on Twitter and Goodreads

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Hanging Out with Missy Sheldrake: Author, Illustrator, & Free Book Giver Outer!

Hello Everyone! Welcome to the last day of Indie Author Spotlight 2017. This time, we've saved the sparkliest for last. Missy Sheldrake is the author and illustrator of the Keepers of the Wellsprings fantasy series. Her latest book, Call of Hywilkin, is out today and is the fourth in the five(?) book series (more on that question mark below). In honor of her new release, Missy is being incredibly generous and giving away the first three books in her series for free. I sat down with Missy earlier in the week and talked about this series, writer life in general, and fifty foot tall rainbow fairies. Sound interesting? Well read on!

Christina McMullen: Hi Missy! Thanks for subjecting yourself to my interview process. Let’s start by getting all of the generic information out of the way. Tell us who you are, what you do, and why today is so gosh darn important.

Missy Sheldrake: I'm Missy Sheldrake, author/illustrator of the Keepers of the Wellsprings series. I write things and I draw things. Today, I'm really excited because this is release day for the fourth book in my series, Call of Hywilkin! To celebrate, I'm offering the first three books inthe series for free.

CM: All three? Free? But that's like, at LEAST a thousand pages of book, is it not?

MS: Yes. Hang on, and I'll do the math for you. Which means I must really like you, because I really, really dislike math. That is 1,211 pages. And the most exciting part is it's the first time the third book has ever been free!

CM: Dang! And even more dang, not all of those pages are words. As you mentioned, you're an author and an illustrator. Your series is fantasy and has a variety of characters and fantastical scenes that you've illustrated and added to the books. Tell us a little about that. What inspired your unique world and what makes you decide which scenes to draw?

MS: I've always enjoyed fantasy stories. I grew up watching favorites like Labyrinth, the Never Ending Story, Legend, Princess Bride, and even the really good oldies like Clash of the Titans. Those movies and stories always inspired me. Beyond movies, I spent much of my teenage years playing Dungeons and Dragons and other RPGs, and in my twenties and thirties I got into online RPGs. I love the vast worlds available in those sort of settings, and how there really is no limit to them except for your imagination. My books are my own worlds, based loosely on all of those experiences and influences.

How I decide what to draw has changed since I started writing. It used to be that I'd try to choose scenes I could do justice to. I wasn't very confident in my illustrations at the beginning. Over the course of the series, you'll notice each book has more and more illustrations. That's because I grew more confident in what I felt I could accomplish. Sometimes I'll draw a scene my beta readers want to see, or I'll want to portray a character who interests me. Most of my illustrations are characters. Whew! That was a long answer.

 CM: But a good one! And let me speak for everyone on the planet known as Earth when I say you absolutely should have confidence in your illustrations. They're fantastic! Now, I'm going to get pushy because I'm allowed to do so since I'm running this interview. You have mentioned before that you are reluctant to call this series young adult. Explain why that is and how you would describe the path this series takes.

MS: Hmm, I guess because I hope to appeal to a broader audience, and I feel like categorizing the series as Young Adult compartmentalizes it a little too much. My heroine is a teen, and later in the series there are new protagonists who are also teens, but the series doesn't follow the typical path of a YA novel. I'm not sure how to describe it, exactly.

CM: Fair enough. Breaking molds is what being an indie is all about, right?

MS: I think becoming an indie is probably the best decision I ever made regarding these books. But to me, it's not really about breaking molds and trying to be special. It's more about appealing to a broader audience. I have spoken to nine-year-olds who love it, to teens, to twenty-somethings, and even a few in their seventies. I love telling these stories of good vs. evil and doing it in a compelling way that isn't ultra-violent or explicit but still has an appeal to a wider variety of readers.

CM: Oh crap. Well, I guess I'll just put this stack of fragile molds back in the cupboard. But we should break something. I know! It's time for the world breaking fun question!

Alien robots have invaded Earth and taken everything and everyone you've ever loved hostage. They've also broken reality and spilled your book's characters out into the real world. You can choose up to three of them to help you save the world. Who do you pick and why?

MS: Hey, I'm all for breaking stuff. Wait, this is probably the best interview question I've ever been asked. I have to think about this one for a minute. Are they magical alien robots, or just your run-of-the-mill alien robots? That makes a difference.

CM: Oh good question! Let's not complicated it too much. These are your standard regulation killbots. They have laser beams, but no magic.

MS: Okay. Wow. This is bad. Rian, definitely. He could blast them with magic, and I imagine he's read a lot about non-magical regulation killbots. There have to be books about those in the Academy. Azi would be there, too. You can't really have the one without the other one. Her armor is magical. It could probably take some robot blasts, and her Light sword would cut right through them...I hope. Flitt would have to come, too. Mostly for comic relief, but she's good when you're desperate for a healer. Actually, Flitt could probably arrange for a wish and get rid of them easily. Just don't tell her I listed her last. And don't tell Tib I didn't choose him. If the robots were magical, he'd have been my first pick.

Let's hope they can stop staring into each other's eyes long enough to fight giant robots from space!
CM: I can easily imagine a tiny, rainbow colored fairy pounding her tiny fists into the head of a fifty foot tall killbot and yelling at it for being 'typical.'

MS: HA! 100% Yes! And telling the robot it stinks. And hey, don't forget fairies can be any size they like, so...

CM: I can't fathom fifty foot Flitt!

MS: Okay, that's going in book 5.

Flitt: Clearly she wanted to yell at us for talking about her, but became distracted by the thought of being fifty feet tall.

 CM: Yes! Okay, back on track: Anyone who knows me knows I am addicted to adding silly in jokes to all of my books. Aside from the potential for a fifty foot Flitt, do you have any such gems in your books?

MS: I really have to think about it. I don't add them intentionally. I like making up idioms and creative curses. My stone giant, Bryse, uses a lot of stony expressions instead of swearing, like, "Crack the stone!" and "Rocks and dirt!" One thing I've noticed I never do is use any form of recognizable measurement. Nothing is ever described in feet, inches, or miles. Time is never described in terms of a minute or a second. I try to come up with creative ways to get the point across without using contemporary expressions.

I’m not sure that's really easter eggish, though.

CM: It's neat enough in my opinion! Now, you have released four books. Number five is the lasted one, isn't it? How does that make you feel?

MS: It makes me feel like...maybe this will be a 6 book series. Or maybe I'll have a spinoff trilogy. Or maybe both, and a prequel trilogy. How do authors let go? I'm not sure I can.

CM: We can't! Unless of course a new idea grabs us and won't let go. Like maybe you'll decide you want to write about... Mermaids? Yeah, let's go with this totally random topic of mermaids that has absolutely nothing to do with anything and definitely doesn't have to do with a first chapter of a rough draft I read a long time ago. Got any mermaid plans?

MS: Hahaha! Mermaids? Where on earth did you get that idea? Okay, don't tell the Keepers crew, but I may have a story brewing. A cruise ship, a woman overboard rescued. She's a teenager, mysteriously not on the roster, nobody knows who she is. I don't think I ever said anything about a mermaid, though. No way she could be one, right?  ;)

It'd be my first shot at a contemporary fantasy. But seriously, I'm hoping to release the fifth and final book around December-ish. I might mess around with mermaid cruise ship before then. It depends on how my summer goes. You're the one who coined the phrase summer mush brain, right? I know all about that.

CM: Summer brain is a harsh mistress. I wish you the best of luck working on anything while we melt like literary ice cream cones.

Well, Missy, this has been a great interview. Is there anything else you want to talk about or need people to know? Besides reminding them that right now they can download 1,211 pages of free book?

MS: I think they should probably go read those 1,211 pages instead of reading about me talking about myself anymore. I hope they do, and I hope they love it. And I hope they buy the fourth book, and read those additional 454 pages, too, and love them. And check me out on Facebook and Instagram, where I post progress updates of my illustrations. Thanks for the fun interview, Christina! You're pretty good at this interviewing thing.
HOly crap, that's a lot of pages.

CM: It is!

MS: That's like, math pages

CM: Boo math!

MS: Math is stinky

CM: Yes. Like mages.

MS: That's 1665 pages. I used my magical calculator.

CM: Thank you so much, Missy, for taking the time to speak to me. Call of Hywilkin is out now and once again, don’t forget to grab the first three Keepers of the Wellsprings books free today!

Missy Sheldrake is an author/illustrator who has been conjuring images of fairies in one form or another since she was very young. The wind in the trees and the rich scent of forest earth are her most treasured sources of inspiration, and on most mornings you will find her wandering the wooded paths, dreaming of the next adventure she hopes to put to the page.
Missy was born in Connecticut and attended Western Connecticut State University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Art with a concentration in painting and illustration. Even then, in her free time, she was writing. She moved to Northern Virginia several years ago and lives there now, on the outskirts of Washington D.C., with her true love and their son. She published her first novel, Call of Kythshire, in March of 2015 and intends to keep writing as long as the fairies allow it.

Connect with Missy:

We Broke the Internet & Tasted Microwaves: My sAWESOME Interview with CB Archer

Well kids, today I'm going to do something that I have never done in the history of this blog: I am going to post a warning. The following is an incredibly strange, exceptionally fun, and surprisingly tame interview with the guy who created the crazy-sexy-hilarious genre of Elfrotica. But despite the tameness, there will be talk of monster wang and sexy sex of the monster sex variety. As such: reader discretion is advised.

Or instead of reading the advisory, here's a visual representation of what to expect.

Before we get to the interview, I'll remind you all once again that this is #RobotPartyWeek, which was CB's impromptu promo idea. If you haven't yet gone out and grabbed up his free books(come on, you know you're curious), there is still time. He's got a different freebie each day until Saturday, so go, grab, and see what they hype is all about.

And now, without further ado, an onomatopoeia:

Christina McMullen: Crash!

CB Archer: Bang in the boom!

CM: That is the sound the internet is making right now as it anticipates how very much it will be broken by this interview.

CB: The internet is right to worry.

CM: But before we get to the sAWESOME stuff and the importance of pastry, let's do the hum drum getting to know you stuff. Wait, who are you again?

CB: Hello Christina and all of your robot minions! I am CB Archer, author of all genres of Elfrotica, and all around happy author.

CM: And you will be immortalized for the creation of said Elfrotica. Tell the people at home a little about what that entails.

CB: *CB Archer changes to Blush Shade #1*

CM: My goal is to unlock blush shade #10 by the time we're through.

CB: Elfrotica at its core is a mix of a few genres of fiction, fantasy, humour, and (of course) erotica. Since the introduction of the Tales the 'Fantasy' section has been shifted a few times to Sci-Fi, post-apocalyptic, and even Cookbook!
(That is a Valiant Goal. #10 hasn't even been unlocked in the world yet!)

CM: Ah yes, in addition to the completion of the Annals of Genitalia Anders' Quest trilogy, you have a series of novelettes that also take place in various videogames. What a brilliant marketing plan! In fact it's so brilliant, why don't you spend some time talking about the incredibly awesome genius who inspired this idea?

Yes, that's a lady on the right.
Yes, that's what you think it is.
CB: Adding small Tales to the series was an absolutely brilliant idea. I am so glad that it was thrust upon me, as they are a brilliant marketing idea (and I suggest that everyone who wants to boost their Elfrotica sales do it). They were first suggested to me by an amazing and inspiring author, whose work I really admire. I can't believe that they even talked to me really, I mean, I am humbled and in awe of them every time they reply to my messages, I mean, super humbled by them! They are so great, and helpful to everyone, like a cheerleader to the world of indie publishing. This author is of course *Changes to Blush Shade #2* - you, Christina McMullen!

CM: *Gasp!* What a twist! I did not see that one coming! Okay fine, I did. But truly, I'm glad to have inspired because this gives you a great way to expand the genre AND it gives those of us who love the series more to read. And as I mentioned at the beginning of the week, this is Robot Party Week, so hopefully folks have been scooping up the free Tales.

CB: It is randomly Robot Party Week and I am excited for it!

CM: That was a brilliant bit of random too! Can you give us a sneak preview of what's next on the agenda for that series?

Regulation butt stuff.
CB: In the Tales series I have some exciting entries coming up. Things that really break the Annals of Gentalia mold! Things that anyone who has read my work would never expect. - A story with Heterosexuality, and a story that will not have any sex at all in it! (gasp!).
Non-regulation butt stuff.
 Oh, and also some other tales with regulation butt stuff for the fans! (I am eccentric, not crazy!)

CM: Oh yeah. I suppose we should mention that. Your books, while probably some of the most anything goes I've ever read, definitely fall mostly into the male on male sexy times category.

Now, typically, this requires a warning and I must say, your warning about vigorous monster banging is one of my favorites, but as is evident by...Ahem... Certain reviews, people don't always read the warning.

But... There is a flip side to this, isn't there? Despite the mostly gay sex themes running pantsless through your books, you have an appreciable fan base of straight men. How amazing is that?

CB: There are three questions here! I am going to answer them one at a time! :D

CM: We have rules now?

CB: My books certainly fall more into the male on male section of the rainbow, but I do like to include more than only male on male (mostly male monster) in my books.
There are no rules in Elfrotica! Except for all the rules I imposed on myself. Like the Text Boxes, and the similar blurbs, and the *Changes to Blush Shade #3* giant monster dicks!

Certain people do not read all the warnings! Or the preview on Amazon! They are there for a reason readers! While my books are light-hearted and fun, they also have jiggly bits!

I do not know why I have been granted the elusive title of 'The Straight Whisper'*. The books are video gamed themed, and funny, (plus I think I am fun to interact with on Twitter**) so this might be the reason why some confirmed lovers of lady bits have been tempted to read my books! I am glad to be opening minds! Well, opening anything really, I don't judge.

(Christina’s notes: *I totally named him that. **Seriously, CB is wildly entertaining on Twitter. Follow him! Follow him now!)

CM: Sandwich break! What did you grab?

CB: I picked a nice basil and rosemary turkey breast with a slice of Swiss on marble rye!

CM: Excellent choice! I chose a mushroom melt with extra hot peppers.

Looks like we've
got leveling to do
CB: It tasted like A discounted Microwave. I don't have enough ranks in cooking. :D

CM: Ugh! Mine taste like tuna noodle casserole. I clearly have less rank.

CB: If it tasted like actual food, you have more than I do!

CM: Didn't we decide tuna noodle casserole isn't food?

CB: We did, but it is probably tastier than licking the side of a microwave.
I bet it isn't.
Yeah, it isn't. I checked.

CM: Point taken.

Anyone who is confused by this conversation has some reading to do.

So we've talked around the series, but we haven't said anything about the main three books yet. That needs to change! Tell us about Anders!!!

Hey! He looks familiar!
CB: Biscuits! Anders is the protagonist of The Anders' Quest Series (amazing how that works). He is certainly not based off of me, not at all. I am just using his face icon as my avatar icon because... reasons! *Changes to Blush Shade #4* 

Anders is an absolute sweetheart who is always willing to lend a hand to those in need, refuses to use foul language, and has a magical butt capable of taking all sorts of giant monster *Skips to Blush Shade #6* challenges!

CM: Anders' aversion to swearing was probably the first thing I found endearing about this series. Is that weird? Look what you've done! You've made a kawaii sex romp that gives people the feels!

CB: That was my goal, give people the feels while they are feeling themselves!

Some less supporting than others
CM: *uses laugh animation* And then there's the supporting cast.

CB: Supporting!

CM: Okay, so...
Everyone else has gotten this one question, or a variation of it. It's about alien robots from outer space coming down and destroying Earth.
You will get the same question...

CB: Okay, that is confusing and fair!

CM: But you will also get extra bonus broken questions just because. So let's start with the basics.:

Alien robots from outer space have come to Earth and are holding all of your loved ones hostage. Who, up to three, of your characters do you get to help you save the world and what item do they use to help?

CB: Okay, that is a great question. I am going to need to enlist the following characters in the following order:

- Roodg. I need someone to help me create the plan of saving others, and there is no one I would trust more with making an insane plan (that actually worked) than Roodg!

So dramatic!

Roodg would tell me that we would need the help of Fournimer. Fournimer would stand in front of the alien robots with his scarf dramatically blowing in the wind. There is nothing more distracting than a scarf blowing dramatically in the wind.

Suck it, Anders
Next, we would need the help of an elf that could really handle an entire army of robot aliens. That elf, of course, would be Bufik Lanet from All Men's Space. Everyone would be in shock that it wasn't Anders, but we need an elf with a booty that can handle many foes at once, not one giant foe, and there is only one elf that can handle that many robot aliens at once, and that is Bufik!

Wait... are they allowed to be defeated with kinky elf sex? I hope so, that was our plan.

CM: I'm sure our alien robot overlords wouldn't have it any other way. *uses wink animation*

Now for the next question: You're looking for a nice relaxing nigh of mindless videogame action, but oh no! Residual laser beam from the alien robots hit your console and broke it... Like... Tornado Tech broken... What game are you playing and which character are you:

1. Most excited to see broken that way.

2. Least excited to see broken that way.
3. Are pleasantly surprised to see had skills you wouldn't have dreamed of.

Skyrim Anders? #ArrowToTheElfButt

CB: Curse those Aliens! Curse them!

I often play games such as Dragon Age, Stardew Valley, and Soul Calibur. These games let me create my own characters, and *Changes to Blush Shade #7* I must admit that I tend to make the characters from my books. So there is a really good chance that I would be dealing with the likes of Skyrim Anders, or Fallout: New Vegas Lissa.

But, that wasn't the question now was it?

CM: No, but that's great info!

CB: 1. A character I would be excited to see broken in this way. That would be Link, simply because he is the original sexy elf, and dang it, I want to cuddle with him!

2. Least excited to get broken and hit on me, that is a tough one (as I am very open minded)! Going to need to go with The Evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt from Earthworm Jim.

CM: Gah! Good(?) choice.

CB: 3. Most surprised by their secret talents? I am going to have to go with Kirby, because, well... he can *Changes to Blush Shade #8*... he has a lot of blowing potential.

CM: Whelp! That's it. You did it. You made me blush. *checks special interviewer shades* Oh dear. I'm officially Blush Shade #Barbara Walters.

CB: Wow, even I have never heard of Blush Shade #Barbara Walters! Amazing

CM: Oh! Hold the phone! Literally... We have breaking news...

CB: !!! Did Kirby finally reply to my Texts?

CM: Sorry, not yet. I'm sure he's just busy. *play it cool animation* No, our news is that Nokia is re-releasing the 3310 cell phone complete with the game Snake. Could you find a way to pervert this incredibly breakably named but not so much content game for sexy lolz?

CB: Gee, a game where a slender tube shaped creature gets longer and longer the more you eat, until the point where it is so gigantic that it hits itself and presumably needs to stop playing the game because it gets itself caught in its own throat?


Nope! Can't see anything suggestive about that.

CM: *Changes to Interviewer Blush Shade #Oprah*

CB: Bwahahaha! I have made you blush even further with my impressive skill with giant snake gobbling! Wait, "My impressive skill with giant snake gobbling?!" *Changes to Blush Shade #9*

CM: Oh snap! And here I was just about to wrap things up (practice safe interviews, people), but now we need to unlock Blush Shade #10!

CB: Aw, that is so sweet of you. It really makes me feel great that you want to accomplish such a thing! Aw, so much niceness. *Changes to Blush Shade #10*

CM: Level up!
Okay, I'll let you off the hook now. So, now that Anders has gotten his happy ending, what's next for the world of Gentalia?

CB: I have a spreadsheet already set up that has details for the next trilogy! Squee! (Yes, I get giddy over spreadsheets) I also have an idea for a shorter single novel, and plus many Tales to complete! I will be going hard for some time!
Going hard! *Changes to Blush Shade #MAXIMUM*

CM: That did it! I think I've gone Blush Shade #Ellen!

CB: Ellen is another term for Maximum.

CM: CB, it's been an absolute pleasure breaking the internet with you. Thank you for putting up with this!

CB: I should be the one thanking you for putting up with this! Thank you Christina, it was a lot of fun!

CM: Well folks, if that didn't convince you to hop aboard the Elfrotica boat (and yes, it's a boat, not a train, because plot!), then here's one last shameless link to CB's Amazon Author Page where perhaps all the pretty colors will hypnotize you into buying all the things. 

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