Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Time Keeps On Slipping...

So we've come to the end of another year and we're no closer to the science-tastic future the great minds of the sci-fi golden era layed out for us in the mid-twentieth century.
Or are we? 
And if not, is that such a bad thing? Let's look back and see how 2013 stacks up against the predictions of the past.

So we haven't colonized space, but we've now left the solar system and drawn crude pictures of genitalia on Mars. Stay classy, NASA!
If movies have taught us anything, it's that a huge meteor crashing into the earth would bring about Armageddon, or at the very least, a zombie apocalypse. But when a meteor crashed into Russia this past February, what we got was a slew of amazing reaction videos from Russians so jaded, they make life long New Yorkers look soft by comparison.
But are we truly safe? Think Jurassic Park is impossible? The scientists working on the Lazarus project say otherwise. Sure, it's frogs today, but wasn't frog DNA used to make the dinosaurs that rampaged into our hearts 20 years ago?
We don't have food replicators of the Stat Trek variety yet, but a team of scientists in Japan and the US are using 3D printing technology to get us closer to Earl Grey (hot!) on demand.
Speaking of 3D printers, this year we've seen a boom in their use, creating everything from guns to prosthetics, to buildings on the moon made from the moon that we can use when we colonize the moon! You hear that? Space colonization isn't dead yet!
Flying cars may be off the table at the moment, but flying bicycles became a reality this year. Curse you hipsters!
3D print technology is also being used to mend broken bones and grow real replacement limbs for amputees, which means we're closer to bionic humans than ever before. And what do we want besides bionic parts? Super powers, of course! Yes, they're working on that too. Let's just hope the creators of the Spidey sense suit realize that with great power, comes great responsibility and we don't end up with a bunch of super villians on our hands. After all, 2013 also brought us the first instance of mind control, meaning that in the near future, "Stop hitting yourself!" type bullies are going to be upping their game.
Super villians aside, be warned, readers, SkyNet is closer than you think thanks to cloud computing. That's right, the technology that allows you to own all the music you could ever wish for is also allowing supercomputers to access a wider array of knowledge, which everyone knows, leads to self-awareness.
And finally, science is coming closer to achieving what Voldemort couldn't do with magic; gaining immortality. Well, maybe not immortality, but reversing aging and even finding a 'cure' for gray hair. And here I thought Miss Clairol found the cure several decades ago!
So there you have it, 2013 was definitely the year that made science fiction happen. I'm looking forward to see what 2014 brings us. Four hour work days ala the Jetsons? I'm all for it. Pill sized capsules that contain a full meal? No thanks! Stick to curing heart disease and let me keep my buttered everything.


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