Friday, June 14, 2013

I Guess I'm Supposed To Talk About My Book

So now that everyone knows my whole online presence is like that dream where you have to give a speech and you forget to wear pants, allow me to explain why I'm standing here in my underwear by having a completely rational conversation with myself:

So, what is your book about?
You have no idea how much I hate that question!
Back when I first came up with the idea, I would have just said, "Vampires" and left it at that. Or I might have added that it's a new take on vampires. But that was nearly a decade ago. Now if I just say, vampires, I'm likely to get a polite nod or an impolite eye roll out of the person asking.
Then again, had I written the book at eighteen, I would have told you it's a metaphor for the human condition and man's inhumanity towards man or something equally as stuffy and baseless. No, I am not exaggerating. I was really into the human condition back then.
So what do I say? Well, after the awkward pause, I usually mumble something about a scientifically plausible take on vampires or urban fantasy, and quickly clarify that it is not another Twilight clone. Usually this is met with a polite nod, a "good for you!" and probably a "sure it isn't," after my back is turned.

Okay, fine. But, dude, seriously. What is your book about?
First of all, it's books, not book. There are two available right now and more on the way. But to answer your question, yes, my series is about vampires, that is, it's as much about vampires as Star Wars is about Jedis* or Star Trek is about Starfleet. These things exist in their respective universes as pivotal characters to advance the plot, but ultimately, these are adventures. My books are adventures too.

Did you just compare your books to Star Wars and Star Trek? That's a bit lofty.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Yes, it is a bit lofty, but it is not much of a stretch. Star Wars tells the story of Luke Skywalker, a farm boy who discovers he is destined for greater things, like putting an end to an evil empire. In the Eyes series, Lucy Soriano is a college dropout who also discovers that she is destined for greater things, specifically, to put and end to the tyrannical reign of the titular bad guys, The Eyes of The Sun.
Star Trek is a series with an ensemble cast who explore the galaxy looking for new worlds. While the Prime Directive states they are supposed to adhere to a strict policy of non-involvement, they aren't very good at that because that would make for a boring show. The Eclipse Project is an ensemble group who have something of their own prime directive. Their mission is to keep vampires from treating the citizens of New Orleans as dinner, while keeping the citizens from knowing that vampires exist. This isn't as easy as it sounds. Wait, I guess that doesn't sound very easy. No wonder the crew of the Enterprise are always getting into deep space hijinx.
And much like both Star Wars and Star Trek, The Eyes of The Sun requires no actual hard knowledge of science to make it enjoyable. I fling the word DNA around with as much reckless abandon as the writers of Star Trek do words like graviton particles, dilithium crystals, and photon torpedos.

I might be more confused now than before. Does Lucy have a light saber or a phaser gun?
Neither, but she is pretty handy with a CPA. No, not an accountant, that's a weapon, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. ;)

Dude, stop already.
Okay, fine! Look, obviously I missed the whole point of this conversation and all I managed to do was make my imaginary me confused and angry. What are my books about? Vampires, sure, but also action, adventure, mystery, romance, and they are liberally peppered with my schizophrenic brand of humor. They are not high literary art, they are pulp escapism, a fun and engaging way to waste an afternoon that will make you think, but not too hard.
Want to know more? Click the link at the top of the page that says My Books.
Please?
I'll buy you a pony.
I can't afford a pony, but I'll be your friend. Your socially awkward write friend. ;)

*Autocorrect note of the day: my phone tried to change Jedis to Jesus, thus confirming that yes, the Force is apparently a religion.

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